E+E Column: Musings on Matrimony

I do love a good wedding. What’s not to like? Good food and drink, music, dancing, a chance to catch up with old friends and family and of course, most importantly, being able to witness two people declare that they love each other so much that they are certain they want nothing more than to wile away the rest of their days together. Yesterday saw me and the small folk nip down the A38 to a dear friends wedding on a farm near Avonwick. It was a beautiful, relaxed affair and the sound of laughter resonated throughout the day. Even the weather cooperated and the rain stayed at bay while the celebrations occurred.

September is also the month Dan and I got married and we celebrate 7 years of wedded bliss (!) this year. We were given a lot of advice upon our engagement and, to a lesser extent, over the years people have continued to share their nuggets of wisdom on the recipe for a happy marriage. I am definitely no expert, it’s still relatively early days for us compared to those celebrating their 50th or 60th anniversary but for me, 7 years and 3 kids on, it boils down to three things. Being willing to be the first to apologise, not taking your spouse for granted and remembering to have fun. I reckon if you can manage these three things you’ve got a good chance of being in it for the long haul and (this is obviously the goal!), being happy together.

Being able to apologise is probably the hardest, at least for me. I’m pretty stubborn and basically I like being right! But I’ve found that apologising is an amazing way of opening up lines of communication that have previously ground to a halt and actually resolving an issue. A bit of humility works wonders it turns out.

The second ‘nugget’ that I’ve mentioned is an easy trap to fall into, especially after the honeymoon period wears off – taking your spouse for granted. When you’re living with another person and slipping into the routine of life as a couple, sometimes you forget to ‘woo’ each other and that spark that initially drew you to each other can start to flicker or go dull. It’s not hard to fix though. Simply pay attention to them, ask about their day, cook them a meal, find a film to watch together, a game to play together, a special place to take them. Make them feel special.

Finally – having fun. This ties in with the last one. When you’re living together and doing all the boring things that come with life – housework, childcare, work, bill paying…etc, fun sometimes manages to escape us ad monotony seeps in. I’m not even going to tell you how to remedy this one – it’s pretty self explanatory!

I was inspired by Maddy and Mark’s wedding – it was a day just oozing love and I’m pretty damn sure that their life is going to be full of laughter, fun and adventures. This one’s for you guys – congratulations! May you always be excellent to each other!

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