E+E Column: On Being Content

It occurred to me today that although it is good to be ambitious, I’d much rather learn and succeed at simply being content. We’re on holiday in the Lake District and whilst walking through some gorgeous woodland, the kids picked ‘wishing sticks’ (dandelion clocks) and distributed them around the family. Close your eyes and make a wish, then blow. A whole host of possible wishes rushed through my mind; a thatched cottage with a spacious garden, good health for a variety of poorly loved ones, a guarantee that Donald Trump loses comes November, a winning lottery ticket… but eventually I settled on wishing that we might just be content as a family. I don’t think I’ve jinxed it by telling you all as this is a concept that I already know, just one that it helps to revisit periodically.

We’ve all heard tales of incredibly rich people tending to be very stressed, of top executives being the folk most in need of therapeutic treatments and past times. It is said that the more you have, the more there is to worry about, the more there is to lose. Many a person has wasted large chunks of their lives striving to achieve something just out of their reach, has focused so much on their goals that they’ve neglected to fully embrace and enjoy the life that they already have. Anecdotal evidence suggests that upon questioning people at the end of their lives, biggest regrets tend to almost unanimously centre on not spending enough time with loved ones, rather than missed career or financial opportunities.

Of course, there is a balance. I’m not saying we shouldn’t have aspirations, dreams and goals in life. Undeniably, great things are done by people with drive, with a spark and a willful force to keep pushing even when things are against them. But it’s about making sure you don’t become consumed by these goals. It’s about looking at what you’ve already got, at the people in your life and being able to be happy. To be able to live in the moment without always having a mind on the next step of your long term plan.

Dan and I are a good match for each other when it comes to this topic. I’m inclined to give absolutely no thought to the future. I live in a dreamworld where we need no pension, where we can just live on a boat into old age doing odd jobs to see our way and of course, we’ll not be struck down with any ailments that will hinder that way of life. Dan on the other hand, is conscious that we need to have a back up plan so we don’t end up slogging away into our 70’s and 80’s.He wants to make sure that we can look after the kids, provide them with a fun and secure childhood and then be able to look ourselves when the time comes. In our house, mostly, these two attitudes meet in the middle and we do a reasonable job of remaining content, enjoying the season that we’re currently in, without worrying too much about the future. It’s a constant work in progress but one worth pursuing, the art of contentment.

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