I’m afraid that my musings this week aren’t on a particularly original subject. However, hopefully they will still be of interest or at least help you peacefully wile away a few minutes with a hot cup of tea! After a series of conversations and occurrences over the last few weeks, I’ve been thinking about the concept of the ‘lost’ village and of the emerging trend of isolation over community.
Before I get into this, I will put forward a disclaimer. I am beyond lucky/blessed/priviledged to be living in a small town where I have close friends living literally next door and more just mere minutes walk away. When Eli was born and our on call childcare couldn’t come to take the big two, it didn’t take long to find a friend who dashed down the road to our rescue. When Sophia was struggling yesterday when we were out and about, a friend kindly ushered her away for a bit of R+R at hers. I feel reasonably confident that if need arises, there is always someone nearby who is willing and able to help.
However, I also have a lot of close friends and of course, family, who don’t live so close. And when they are going through hard times, be those related to sickness, emotional reasons or otherwise, I hate that I can’t easily go and offer a helping hand, shoulder to cry on or simply deliver a hot meal.
In times gone by, people lived near those they loved. Communities were close-knit and strong, families lived in neighbouring roads and friendships were formed within these villages. It was rare for a family member to leave and whilst some might be very relieved at the opportunity to put some distance between them and their family (!) I do think we’ve lost something important in the dispersal of families and friends.
Of course I can see the benefits, having the opportunity to follow good work opportunities, explore the world and live in diverse communities is amazing. But…we have also lost so much. We’ve lost the reassurance of knowing that you have support within minutes whenever it might be needed. There is a reason why they say it takes a village to raise a child but no longer can kids pop in and out to visit Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents. Increasingly, we live away from our families and often as we follow jobs, our best of friends. We rely on grabbing weekends where we can to catch up and life can be lonely in between.
Although I’ve found myself in a pretty good ‘village’, it saddens me on a daily basis that my village is missing some very important, key players. I don’t know what the answer is. Life moves on, our culture is constantly changing. But I can’t help reminisce about days I never even knew. Maybe they weren’t better. But the idea of having everyone I love within a stones throw to share my life with on a daily basis makes me think that they probably were…