Taking Time For You

I’m aware that I’m in danger of this sounding something like a self-help column this week but I want to write about self-care and about taking time to nurture yourself. With Mother’s Day just gone, it seems like a timely reminder that Mum’s (and indeed everyone) need a bit of a break regularly, not just once a year in an avalanche of flowers, homemade cards and breakfast in bed. But we are not passive in this, we need to claim space and time for ourselves.

It’s easy in life, especially as a parent (but not exclusively to those with small folk), to get so bogged down in the day-to-day tasks that need doing and meeting the needs of everyone around us that we forget about our own needs. Self-care is the buzz term for this but really, it just means remembering that you are a human with your own needs and wants and recognising that it’s not selfish to take some time to meet them. Mother’s especially can be prone to playing (unintentionally) the role of martyr, running themselves ragged looking after those in their lives and getting all their work done, constantly juggling tasks and appointments in order to keep their families ticking over. But the problem with this is that more often than not, we end up feeling burnt out, tired and resentful.

Luckily, the solution is not a hard one. Self-care doesn’t mean jetting off for an all inclusive spa-weekend once a month (although once in a while wouldn’t go amiss!) Rather, it means adopting a practice of remembering every day, to honour yourself by doing something that’s just for you. That might be taking the time to go for a run or to an exercise class, to sit down with a tea and a book or trashy Netflix show for an hour, it might be choosing to take some extra time to prepare a nutritious meal to better fuel your body, it might be simply going to bed early rather than spending an extra two hours tidying and tying up the loose ends of the day.

And the thing is, if we regularly make time to honour ourselves, we’ll find tension dissipating in other areas of our lives. We’ll have more patience and energy to deal with the demands that life throws at us. It’s not selfish to take time for ourselves. It’s not selfish to say no to a request to play by the kids or to turn down extra hours at work. It’s OK to put ourselves first once in a while. I remember reading something Dr Sears had written when Sophia was just a toddler, he wrote that the sun does not rise and set on one member of the family but rather that everyone in the family were of equal importance. He wrote that sometimes one person’s needs will be more pressing than others but that in the grand scheme of things, a family should equally look after each other.

I’ve come a long way in the way of self-care and now make sure I take time daily to do something for me (usually go to the gym or eat separately from the kids so I can eat something yummy I know they won’t touch!) and the difference is noticeable. I find that I shout less and that as a general rule, our house is calmer. I’m not going to lie, we still have stressful, grouchy days but there are less of them. So if you had a lovely Mother’s Day but wished you were given the opportunity to focus on yourself a little more, don’t wait another year. Adopt an attitude of daily self-care and take some time (even if it’s just 10 minutes) for yourself, you won’t regret it!

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The 4 R’s

Some of you might remember that last July I wrote a column about trying to reduce the use of disposable plastic in my (our) life. I’ve always tried to look for re-usable options where possible anyway but ‘plastic free July’ prompted me to investigate more deeply the role of plastic in my life and identify where we could cut back further. I was also introduced to the concept of the 4 R’s; they are Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle. The idea being that by following these 4 R’s you can do your bit as an individual consumer to further reduce the production and consumption of disposable single-use plastic.

Recently, it’s a subject that has been in the media a lot with Iceland promising that it’s own range of products will be plastic-free and other supermarkets looking like they’ll be following suit. In fact, even here in the Express and Echo, a local plastic-free hero, the wonderful Jen Harris, was interviewed as she has impressively got her families household black-bin waste down to a large crisp packet full every 2 weeks! She has also had a massive impact on the people of Exeter, inspiring many around the city to make a stand against plastic. She is one of the admin on two great facebook groups; ‘Exeter Journey to Zero Waste’ and ‘Compost Connections’, both of which I’d recommend if you’d like local tips on reducing your waste.

One of the biggest sources of plastic waste is in food packaging; dried pasta and rice in plastic bags, vacuum packed cucumbers and broccoli, fruit in plastic cartons, plastic meat trays…the list is endless! Luckily, in Devon, three savvy environmentally conscious entrepreneurs have seen a need for a shop that bucks the plastic-heavy trend. Starting with Earth.Food.Love in Totnes, then followed by the Real Food Store in Exeter and now, excitingly, Nourish of Topsham will be opening on Saturday 24th March. The former is entirely plastic-free and the small shop is lined wall to wall with bulk dispensers full of every kind of dried good you can imagine from grains to coffee, cereal, nuts and even make your own nut butter machines! They also have a range of household cleaning products in large barrels so you can bring your own containers to refill. The Real Food Store has a small selection of bulk dipensers and cleaning products as well as lots of loose fruit and veg for the shoppers in Exeter. And to quote them directly, Nourish of Topsham is ‘a zero-waste provisions store…[selling] whole foods, dry goods and everyday items to make plastic free living a little easier.’ I’m so excited about exploring the latter when they open in a few weeks time and hoping that we can get much of our weekly groceries from them.

The rise of these kind of shops is a direct response to the increasing awareness of consumers that we are producing and throwing away too much plastic. Everyone has probably seen a shocking photo of a beach covered in plastic or a sea floating with so much debris you can barely see the water. Clearly, we need to do something to protect our environment and the more of us that choose to support these stores and buy less plastic-packaged products, the better! So come down to Topsham on the 24th March for the opening of Nourish, which is happening on Spring Forward Saturday, a day for offers and Spring treats in over 50 local independent shops, cafes and restaurants. It’s the perfect opportunity for a day out to indulge in a little retail therapy and to #shoplocal whilst you’re at it!

An ode to libraries

(Posted a little late but I couldn’t miss the opportunity to sing the praises of libraries!)

Even though the kids aren’t in school, we tend to follow the local term dates when it comes to our home education. That means that this week, like families everywhere, we were faced with a week off our normal routine as we took a half term break. This actually came at a good time as everyone had just come down with another heavy cold so it gave us the perfect opportunity to rest and recover. The weather further aided this by being incredibly inclement (again) meaning that lots of time inside playing games, doing puzzles and reading books was welcomed by us all.

However, as the kids started to recover, I found myself puzzling as to how to fill the empty days when we needed to be out of the house but still indoors, and I didn’t want to spend much (or if I’m being honest, any) extra money. On one of these such days I received an email from Devon Libraries with a ‘pre-overdue’ warning and the solution was obvious…a trip to the library was in order!

The love for our libraries is strong in this house. Sophia is currently working her way through the Book Track challenge (reading 100 books and receiving badges along the way to mark various milestone) and the boys are content rummaging through unfamiliar and exciting books for me to read as well as getting to use the fancy new self-checkout machine. And me? Being a bookworm with neither the time or finances to regularly frequent bookshops, a trip to the ‘adult section’ always appeals to me as I look for something interesting to get my teeth into.

Like all public services, libraries are constantly facing the pressure of cuts, loss of funding and threat of closure. But there is a really really easy way to support these amazing community resources, and that is simply…to use them! The more of us that use libraries for borrowing books, going to the various groups and meetings that they hold, using their resources for research or printing, the more it will show those higher up the food chain (and therefore in charge of the purse-strings) that we want libraries to stay.

With World Book Day fast approaching on 1st March, now is the perfect opportunity to dust off your library card and go searching for a good book to lose yourself in at the end of a long day. And if you have small kids don’t forget to check out the various events taking place around the area. Devon Libraries are excellent at providing all manner of fun things to do for the children so it’s always worth keeping an eye out on their facebook pages! Libraries are one of the cornerstones of small communities everywhere and I think it’s fair to say, of vital importance to many. To paraphrase the old adage, if we don’t want to lose it…use it!