We don’t put much value by school years in our house. If you asked me right now, I wouldn’t definitely be able to tell you what years the boys would be in if they were in school (I only know S because she’d have entered secondary school this year which feels like a milestone). I have absolutely no clue what the national curriculum consists of or what the government thinks they should know at the ages of 6, 9 and 11. I imagine that they would fall short in some areas if they had to do standardised tests. But I know that in other ways, they have knowledge or skills way beyond their years.
S is the queen of self directed learning. She seeks out information, she knows how to check her sources, she is a font of wisdom – often more than me! She is studying for a Latin GCSE and is doing adult-level costume design courses. I is more singular in what he pursues. He is an avid reader but of the same series of 20-odd books which he reads on repeat, starting at book 1 and going through until he’s finished before returning to the start. He loves video games and is an avid coder, in the middle of a ‘pirate treasure’ game on QB-64. E is….feral. But as I subscribe to the educational philosophy of not starting formal education until 7, I’m not too worried. He’s a force to be reckoned with and will be fine.
Sometimes I think about how they’d be if we have taken a more traditional approach to education. I don’t think by any means that they’d be hard done by or suffer. I think I might struggle a bit in mainstream schooling and that E would be in trouble constantly (anyone that has met him and his best friend will agree wholeheartedly with this assessment!) but generally they’d be fine. But…I think they’d be different. I love the freedom that home education gives us and the impact I think it’s had on their personalities.
I would be lying if I didn’t say that at least 30%* of the time I’m fed up with their constant presence. It’s hard being with them all day, nearly every day. The constant questions, demands, queries, squabbles… In an attempt to not be a shouty Mum I’ve started to level with them and will from time to time just state clearly ‘I’m feeling really frustrated right now and feel like I might shout. I suggest you give me a few minutes by myself’. I owe my parents a debt of gratitude for the times they have the kids and a similar thank you goes to the amazing Forest School leaders who engage them and their little gang every Friday in the woods.
But, (and of course there had to be a but!) would I change it? Nope. Because that other 70%* of the time we’re off having adventures, hanging out with our friends, exploring the amazing coast and moors on our doorsteps, learning together. We’re being silly, singing songs whilst we drive, challenging each other to obstacle races in the park. They’re my little friends and they’re pretty great kids. And man, reading that back makes me feel a little sick – all the cheese!! But it’s true. I’m in a privileged position to be able to home educate and I don’t take that lightly.
And if I think about it, a lot of the time when I get frustrated with them, it’s because of other things going on. Trying to fit in 2 days of work and all the running I want to do alongside home education is a challenge. Often my stress at not having enough time to do it all is what makes me lose my temper. I feel guilty at not having all my time exclusively for them or frustrated that I’m always rushing from one thing to another. But then I need something separate from them to feel like myself. And besides, I think it’s a good example to them to see me working doing something I feel passionate about. Also, I know that I don’t like to rest on my laurels and would be bored if I didn’t have these other things going on!
Most days though, I can look from the outside and see that what we’re doing works. It works for them and it works for me. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters right?
* these percentages vary massively in both directions depending on where I am in my menstrual cycle, the weather, how much the kids have been fighting, what the moon is doing, how bad the traffic has been…
the starlings gather here 