Gosh it’s been a while since I’ve posted here. I’d say apologies but I don’t really know if an apology is necessary? Life is busier right now than I thought was possible to maintain. Maybe it’s not sustainable, I guess time will tell. On top of my normal job and home educating the kids (and trying to do the things that nourish me and see the people I love), I’ve now taken on fully the running of Moorland Guides, am in the middle of selling my house, and am trying to get to the mountains as much as I can to get my QMD’s (Quality Mountain Days) with a view to doing the assessment for my Mountain Leader training next April. It’s a lot. Even now, I think I should be sleeping rather than writing, but….I miss writing for me. So I’m sacrificing 30 mins of sleep to share my meandering thoughts once more.
Ironically, what I want to talk about is slowing down! Having spent more time in the mountains over the last 4 months than I have in a long time, I’ve had a lot of time to think. There’s something about being high up in the hills that breeds a lot of contemplation and has brought some things to my attention. I think it’s a fantastic setting for teaching us lessons, for giving us time to reflect on things that we might find challenging. I’m not quite sure what it is; the combination of being fully present in the moment, the amazing views the high altitude brings, the exposure to the elements, the perspective it brings. I find it easier there, more than anywhere else, to think about what really matters to me, to sift through the clag of life and focus on what I think is important and what I should be moving towards. The to-do lists seem to drop away, the nagging voice that there are other things I should be doing is silenced. My mind just stills there in a way that it only does in a certain few other situations.
So I thought I’d have a go at writing a series of posts about what I think I’ve learnt or been challenged on from my time in the mountains. And the first, as is obvious from the title, is about slowing down.
On an obvious practical safety note, rushing in the mountains can be foolish and sometimes even dangerous, particularly if you’re a little off the beaten path or doing some scrambling. But even rushing when you’re navigating, not setting your compass properly or paying attention to forks in the path can leave you going the wrong way, or lost. An attitude of slowness and deliberateness (not necessarily being actually physically slow) is crucial to navigating and staying safe in the mountains.
However, you’ll have guessed that this isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted to talk about slowing down. Rather, I’m thinking about the idea of adopting a conscious practice of slowing down, trying to implement this approach into everything we do. This doesn’t mean our diaries aren’t full and life isn’t busy. For many of us, that’s just how life is and there isn’t a whole lot we can do to mitigate that. But choosing an attitude of slowness can make a massive difference to how we react to those full diaries. For me, this translates to trying (and trying really really hard despite often failing!) to think more slowly, to speak more slowly, to act more slowly.
All my life I’ve been an act-first-think-later kind of person. I’m impulsive, I often commit to things without fully thinking it through, I make snap decisions, and have been prone to speaking without really thinking about the impact of my words. I’m trying to work on being considered and mindful in the words I speak, in the decisions I make, in the thoughts I entertain. Breaking a habit and culture of a lifetime isn’t an easy task. But on the days and weeks when I manage it better than others, I find that I’m getting less overwhelmed by the clawing demands of that diary and the things that are shouting for my attention and time. I think it also shows more respect and compassion for those around me if I’m being considered in the way I interact with them rather than acting, sometimes, thoughtlessly, because I’m rushing.
Last weekend I went on my first solo trip to the mountains and tried to adopt this attitude of slowness throughout the weekend. From really concentrating on micro-navigation and the attention it necessarily demands, to choosing to stay in my tent and read my book as the sun was rising in the morning rather than immediately getting up and starting to hike, to choosing to spend an hour lazing in the sun on the hillside as the day was coming to an end, rather than marching straight back to the car to drive home. The result? I got home not feeling like I’d rushed, having enjoyed my own company and the time in the mountains, having embraced both the solitude and the slow attitude to the weekend. I felt like I had actually managed to stay in the present, enjoying the ‘right now’ of the moment.
Like everything, it’s a work in progress but a journey that is worth being on, even when it’s challenging.
the starlings gather here 