Worry Less, Run More

Ever since I’ve started writing more content for work (couldn’t resist a plug so if you’re interested, check it out here), I’m aware that I’ve neglected my own site. Apparently my ability to write interesting, creative posts (if they ever meet that brief!) is limited to only one venture at a time. But I’m halfway through our two week festive shutdown and seeing as it’s been a fair while since I posted here, I thought I’d give it a go!

But where to start?

I’ve missed my usual writing points; advent, Sophia’s birthday, Christmas… and I’m not sure my head is quite right to revisit them or if you’re even interested in them! In the interests of record keeping though, a brief report is that our advent period was surprisingly relaxed, festive and enjoyable even with Lockdown 2.0 and then the restrictions imposed by being in Tier 2. Sophia’s birthday was lush, she was sweetly overjoyed with the love and presents she received and a good time was had by all although I still can’t quite believe she’s reached the grand old age of 11. I actually remember being 11 and it feels so old for my baby!

We’ve also been spending as much time as we can outside…our favourite family past-time!

Christmas was only two days ago so I’ll be a bit less brief with that. I’d been feeling on/off poorly in the days leading up to it and after a night of feeling very hot and a bit cough-y I booked a covid test to be on the safe side. This meant our plans were slightly amended as we had to isolate but it was only really Christmas Eve that was affected so it wasn’t much of a hardship (although we did miss our planned walk with my folks). Christmas itself was absolutely lovely. We had a low key day, opening presents, zooming our families, grazing, playing new games and snoozing on the sofa. Then we did it all again on Boxing Day whilst we waited for my test results which thankfully came back negative late in the day. I’ve just had blood tests back showing that I’m anaemic again so I’m putting down my symptoms to that for now.

I’ve been thinking about running a lot recently and so wasn’t surprised when there was a distinctive running theme to my presents. My gorgeous sister bought me an amazing runners box full of treats (including a charm with the title of this post attached), Dan bought me some fancy pants wireless, waterproof headphones and the kids got me a head torch so I can attempt some night runs (eek!). I felt very spoilt and encouraged in my favourite activity.

Just before Christmas my Dad lent me ‘The Round, in Bob Graham’s Footsteps’, a book about an infamous running challenge in the Lake District and I’ve been reading it whilst poorly. It used to be a goal of Dad’s and I think he’s trying to pass it onto me. Initially I wasn’t interested, thinking it out of my reach but after reading the first half, a seed has been planted… The Bob Graham Round is a challenge whereby you have to run roughly 62 miles, covering 42 peaks in less than 24 hours, starting and ending in Keswick. It’s divided into 5 sections, marked by road crossings and generally those attempting it have a band of pacers and support crew to run with them and provide food and kit changes as needed. The first section (depending on if you run it clockwise or anticlockwise) is from Keswick to Threkeld, passing over Latrigg, Skiddaw, Great Calva and on to Blencathra before you descend via Hall’s Fell. It’s 12.5 miles so well within my grasp and given that we often visit the Lakes and stay near Threkeld, I think it’s a goer for the next time we head up. Then I can decide whether to try more in the future…

Jazz hands running down from Hamel Tor!

For now though, I’ve been thinking about 2021 running plans. I’ve already got a 30 mile race booked in April, tackling the Southwest Coast Path between Kingswear and Shaldon which I’m excited about. But…I’d quite like a bigger challenge having managed by first 30 miler back in November. So I’ve decided to enter the Westcountry Ultra Hilly 50 miler in May. Additionally, I thought I’d better start some prep if I ever want to achieve my dream of running the Coast Path continuously in a few years time. I’ve become a member of the SWCP and my long suffering husband Dan has agreed that once a month he’ll drive me to a spot on the coast path, spend the day in the area with the kids and pick me up from my end point so I can start to run it all. I’m hoping to run around 20 miles once a month and if I keep this up, should complete the entire 630 miles in 2 years (ish).

Running isn’t for everyone, I know this. But for me, it is the key to good mental health. There’s something about running, particularly long distances that just seems to fix my head. I’ve been working through some CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) online courses via TalkWorks (a Devon based depression/anxiety service) and whilst some of the techniques are really helpful, nothing makes me less anxious and puts me on more of an even keel than running regularly.

It’s been such a horrendous year that I think more of us than ever before are struggling with our mental health. Therefore, it’s so important to identify what you can do when you’re finding life hard or a bit overwhelming. For me it’s running, for some people it’s traditional talking therapies, for other people I know it’s playing music, crafting with their hands, some other form of exercise…the list is endless. It doesn’t matter what you do but if you’re struggling with your mental health – do something that helps. And if you don’t know where to start, reach out for help. Whether it’s to your friends or family or to professionals. Don’t suffer in silence. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s OK to not be OK.

I can’t imagine I’ll get round to writing again in the next few days so wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Here’s hoping for a 2021 with a lot less pandemic, and a lot more joy.

Bird Attack!

I got attacked by what I think was a buzzard, but certainly a bird of prey, whilst out running this morning. And whilst certain people in my life think it was hilarious (a point I may concede later but not yet), frankly, I was bloody terrified.

I was settling into what was promising to be a strong, 10 mile (potentially more) run and feeling good. The sun was shining, I’d finally found paths I didn’t have to drive to that were mostly track based (often through woods) and I had 6 miles behind me and loads left in the tank. I was experimenting with my route and had just run down a track, past an idyllic farmhouse complete with gambolling lambs that came to greet me and successfully navigated a field of cows, lazily sunbathing in the morning rays. I made my way through the gate into the next field and started running across the obvious track, down towards the next copse in the distance.

I spotted a shadow on the hard ground ahead of me and a large bird swooped over head. I felt at one with nature, full of joy. Then suddenly, preceded only by a slight unexpected draft, my head was buffed by sharp claws as said bird decided to…attack me?! I jumped out of my skin, my (prescription) sunglasses flew off and I’m embarrassed to say I ran screaming back the way I came towards the gate and almost clambered into a bush so I’d be safe from further attacks.

The cows in the previous field were confused, to say the least. They all clambered up and trotted up to the gate to see what the fuss was about. I called Dan, slightly hysterical, who tried to calm me down. After a few minutes I decided I’d try and retrieve my sunglasses then make my way back the way I’d came. I stealthily started back down the path, not running this time, taking it slow. The bird came AGAIN. I ran back to the safety of the bushes, screaming (sorry cows); half hoping the noise would attract the local farm whilst simultaneously dying of embarrassment for my reaction.

I don’t think I was thinking clearly so I decided to message my work chat on Facebook, thinking that a bunch of outdoorsy types might have some useful tips on what was happening. Unless you count useful tips as requesting I record it next time and asking if I was dressed as a dormouse, I was wrong. In a bit of a panic, I threw my over-the-head headphones into the track, wondering if that was what the bird was going for. I ventured out to look for my glasses again and down the bird swooped, for a fourth (or possibly fifth time). Obviously, the headphones were not the target.

To my shame, I phoned Dan again, crying and asked him to pick me up. Clearly he couldn’t come into a field so I had to get to a road. I had two choices, take my chances with the bird and run as fast as humanely possible (for me) across the field or back through the field of agitated cows. I chose the cows. Now, I know that cows are generally docile and caring animals but walking surrounded by a herd of 20-odd large animals who are anxious, skittish and head butting your arse is not a comforting experience when you’re already a little, ahem, distressed. But I made it to the stile and hot tailed it back up the track and through the golf course to the car park where my ever-patient husband was waiting.

Whilst sympathetic, his first question was also whether I filmed it or not. As you can imagine, I was hugely impressed by this. However, he made up for it by driving to the nearest lane to the field and gallantly striding through (with a very eager middle boy) where he retrieved my glasses and headphones successfully with no sign of the bird in sight. I’ll admit though, there was a part of me that was disappointed the bird didn’t go for him to, if only so he knew how I felt!

My first thought was…how will I ever run again? This might have been one of the most frightening experiences ever for me (I’ve led a sheltered life) and I love running…but definitely do not want a repeat experience!

Now, in a more sensible space, I have realised that as a colleague helpfully suggested, the bird was probably nesting and protecting her young/eggs. A quick google has verified this theory. I also realised that I’ve been running regularly for almost 8 years now and this has happened once…so odds are it won’t happen again. I’m never running in that field again though!

But I thought that those of you in need of a chuckle this morning might appreciate my embarrassing tale which is why I’ve told the whole sorry thing to you! And fellow, runners – if this has ever happened to you, please tell me!

(Picture below is of part of the run, before the fateful field of terror)

Taking It Slow

As a general rule, I don’t take photos whilst I run. There are two reasons for this. The first and main reason is because I am rather competitive by nature, not with other people, but with past versions of myself. I don’t want to waste time by stopping to snap a good view, no matter how breathtaking, as I’m always trying to run as fast as possible and beat previous personal records. The second (minor) reason is just because I’m not very good at taking photos! I don’t take the time to adjust the settings or compose a good scene, as in the rest of my life, I rush to get it done and be on my way.

But this morning, I went for a run and I knew it would be slow. I’ve had a month off training due to illness and every time I’ve attempted to run in the last few weeks my lungs have felt like they’re going to give up in protest at the cheek of me making them work. I also did a rather brutal leg day yesterday and my glutes are angry with DOMS. So this morning I set off in the beautiful Spring sunshine with a brilliant blue sky above me and took my time. I just ran 4.5 miles around the country lanes nearby but it was so restorative. My lungs worked and because I wasn’t racing myself I didn’t beat myself up when I stopped to walk up some particularly steep hills (even with the knowledge that I usually run up them). I even stopped to take a picture of the rolling Devon hills with Dartmoor looming in the distance.

People often react with a mixture of horror and bemusement when they find out how much training I do (5/6 days a week of running or in the gym) but for me, it’s my time away from the kids, just for me to re-set. It’s my medicine for mental health, my quiet headspace to think and just be me. After 50 minutes running in the gorgeous fresh air this morning, I feel ready for whatever the day throws at me, whether that be warring brothers or a particularly hefty workload. And this morning I feel like I also finally took on board everyone’s advice to slow down.

In life I am prone to trying to do everything quickly. Sometimes this is in the fitness side of things, trying to lift ridiculously heavy weights without building up to them or trying to launch into a crow pose or handstand without all the conditioning and beginner progressions necessary to lay the groundwork. Sometimes this is in the house, doing a half-assed job of washing up or other housework just to get it over with. Sometimes this is in my role as a parent, rushing bedtime or games with the kids, simply because of parenting-fatigue or an inability to be in the moment when there is a never-ending to-do list. Sometimes this is in my self-care, not taking enough time to rest because I’m anxious to get back to my busy schedule.

But after having been ill for the best part of a month, I have had to slow down. My body wouldn’t let me rush anything! And actually, I think I’ve come out the other side hopefully a little wiser for it. Which is why, when I came in from my run this morning with an urge to write, instead of putting it to one side to pack lunches, do home ed and process registration forms for work, I decided to sit down with a cup of tea and share my ramblings with whoever might be reading this instead.

Sometimes there are deadlines that have to be stuck to and sometimes you do need to hurry. But a lot of the time, it’s all in our heads. We can probably take five and slow down without any horrendous consequences. So I’d encourage you if, like me, you’re prone to rushing, to take it slow today. Even if it’s just taking a few minutes to sit in the sun and soak up the rays before getting back to the grindstone, you’ll feel better for it. (Or if time, family and work allows, do what we did yesterday and spend several hours lounging on the beach enjoying the spring sunshine and the water gently lapping the shore – bliss. See, I told you I’m learning!)

This photo is courtesy of the talented and most lovely Elsie

 

 

 

New Year, New Me?!

We are finally approaching the end of the first month of the year and it’s taken me this long to think about what I want for the year ahead. We spent New Years Eve with some lovely friends and in the morning, spent some time making ‘vision boards’, cutting out pictures and words of things that we wanted to come into our lives during 2019. I liked the idea but didn’t put much as thought into it as I could have, hence my board finishing with a picture of aspargus middle and centre (meant to represent growing generally, not just a love of this particular vegetable), a bottle of gin and some other assorted outdoorsy and fitness related cuttings.

I knew from the offset that for me, 2019 was about saying ‘no’. During the last few months of 2018 I was struggling to manage with fitting everything into our lives that we wanted or needed to. I have never been good at turning down opportunities and prioritising but by December I felt absolutely burnt out and constantly slightly frantic as I attempted to get everything done whilst still saying yes to every invitation offered. So I knew that 2019 needed to be about doing less, about saying no to opportunities that aren’t right for us at the moment, about prioritising what is really important to us. I was also starting to struggle with Home Ed, I didn’t (and don’t) want to send the kids to school but I was also starting to feel the strain of having them around me all. the. time. I was starting to revert back to being a bit of a shouty Mum (which I hate) and the atmosphere in the house was on a decline. And this was mostly just because we were always rushing to fit everything in. I needed to revisit the Orange Rhino blog and remember that the children are my mirror, if I’m chilled and willing to talk through things rather than snap, so are they!

So I’ve made some decisions and had some things happen that already is helping me feel positive and hopefully, less stressed about the year ahead. Firstly, I decided not to run any marathons this year. I know that sounds stupid but I have done three in the last two years and have a growing list of races I’d like to try so had just taken it for granted that I’d run at least one this year. The training however, is fairly sizeable and inevitably eats into our time as a family as well as my own time. (Another reason is because I want to focus on calisthenics and strength training this year but that’s possibly another post – albeit maybe a boring one for most!) So I have committed to not running any races longer than 10 miles and feel really happy with that decision.

Secondly, my wonderful, amazing parents (can you tell I’m sucking up!?) have kindly offered to take the kids for a morning on a fortnightly basis for violin and piano lessons and some reading practice for Isaac and I am so excited! I’m going to pop down the road to a cafe to get some work done in peace and the kids are excited about the extra time with their grandparents.

I’m also trying to make a conscious point of not saying yes to all the incredible home education opportuities that arise on an almost daily basis. I’m starting to realise that we don’t have to go on every trip and that the children’s education will not suffer if we don’t! On the contrary, it means I should actually be able to commit to planning and executing the projects they have requested (WWII and Victorians) and that we will get some more much-needed time at home to do some structured work (and for me to get some of my work done in daylight hours rather than working to 10pm every evening)!

There are a few other things potentially in the offing but really, I think it’s a change of attitude rather than any huge monumental changes to our lifestyle which is going to have the biggest affect on me this year.  I don’t usually subscribe to the ‘new year, new you’ school of thought but this year I have used the change in the calendar to mark an end to one way of doing things. I’m going to say no to more things but also try and rebalance our life so that my work, home ed and my love of fitness all gets an equal say rather than one dominating over the others. It’s only a few weeks in but I’m feeling momentously more relaxed than I did a month ago already!

What about you all? Do you have any New Year’s resolutions or has the New Year prompted you to rethink the way you do things? Or how are you finding 2019 so far? (Brexit notwithstanding, obviously that’s just a dire shadow clouding all of us!) I’d love to hear from you!

Keeping A Record

It’s been nearly three months to the day since my last post so I thought it was probably time to sit down and write an update, if only for my future-self’s sake, rather than for those of you that might be reading this (as let’s face it, how interesting is someone else’s life really?) No, my reason for blogging is two fold. Firstly, it forces me to exercise my creative muscles and to focus on something that isn’t work or the kids. The impetus to kick me out of my dry spell came from seeing a friend’s beautiful art work on instagram (Hi KT!) We briefly spoke about her illustrating a children’s book I was writing a long time ago and seeing her gorgeous work made me realise that I’ve been spending too much time working and not enough writing simply for the love of writing. So I’m going to try and make time to write for me, here and on my works-in-progress. It’s highly likely none of it will go anywhere but at least I’m giving it a go!

Secondly, I’m posting to keep a record of our life over the last few months. When I first started home educating I saw other families incredibly organised ways of recording and documenting their days. Unfortunately, commitment to seeing things through is not my strong point and this applies to all areas of life… I have so many half-filled records of what we’ve been up to, both from an ‘academic’ point of view and a general ‘making memories’ persepctive. This blog seems to be one of the longest lasting endeavours I’ve ever undertaken as an adult so I figure I’ll stick with it for now.

So…what have we been up to? Well, I guess most significantly, we moved house from Topsham to Newton Abbot at the end of August. It’s mad really, we’ve only been here 6 weeks or so but it already feels like we’ve been here forever. I think I’m used to moving after a lifetime of  not staying anywhere more than a few years so adapatability comes easily. The kids are getting there. They are loving the space that the new house offers but Isaac especially is missing Topsham and getting quite anxious about various things. But I’ve got a two-pronged approach to dealing with this. I’m trying to give him space to be sad and make sure we can still see our Topsham friends. But I’m also trying to maximise opportunities to explore our new area and highlight the things that might appeal to him as ‘being better’ than where we used to be. Today we went on an epic exploration of the estate next door and found two new play parks, a pretty cool pond and most excitingly (for me at least), a walnut tree! We brought home a bag full and that was pretty much the highlight of the week for me!

 

Also significantly, me and Dan celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary just a few weeks ago. We did so in style by disappearing to Italy for three nights whilst my frankly heroic parents took on the task of keeping the kids alive and happy in our absence. Whilst Mum and Dad took them hiking in the Lake District, Dan and I explored Pompeii, visited the top of Vesuvius, swam in the Bay of Naples and ate all the carbs (because let’s face it, you can’t go to Italy and not eat pizza and gelato for the duration of the trip).

In the home ed world things have re-started for the academic year. The big two and I have embarked on a Egyptian project, a quest to learn Italian (to be practised on a family holiday there next year hopefully), have started a new awesome weekly curriculum with friends (looking at a different piece of art but then expanding it to look at the wider scope of subjects around it – geography, history, politics…etc), have started a new geographical themed project at our weekly social group and of course the normal reading, writing, maths and Forest School. Oh, and our Garden Group has finally got round to starting our fire circle mosiac and we’ve got some cool conservation stuff underway and lined up for the winter months. Phew! Isaac has started football training with the local team and Sophia is now doing two hours of dancing each week (musical theatre and hip hop…just to mix things up!). Eli is loving Kindergarten and was meant to try ‘Mini Kickers’ last week but lost his nerve at the last minute. Busy busy!

Moving away from the kids, I’ve increased my hours with The Outdoors Group and am very much enjoying my work there. My long-term dream is to do the Forest School Leader Training but it’s just not the right time for me yet. I’m still trying to balance running and weightlifting but have now discovered an enthusiasm for calisthenics as well. I’ve got headstands down and am working on forearm stands and handstands now. I’ve seen progress in both these areas which is encouraging. Pole has taken a back step and whilst I really want to get into climbing, there just aren’t enough hours in the week. In running, my average pace has mysteriously hugely improved since getting back from holiday (maybe it was the pizza?!). I got my 5k and 10k PB in the last few weeks (23:44 and 52:45 respectively) and I’ve got the Great West Run in a fortnight so hoping to smash my 2 hour goal…we’ll see!

Dan’s absolutely smashing all calisthenic and weight lifting goals he sets himself, is starting a new job next month, has re-discovered his fondness for graphic novels and is enjoying having the space to play music a bit more in the new house. He’s also acquired a drone and has shown a natural talent for photography which is pretty bloody cool! I even managed to get him to agree to doing a Mountain Marathon with me once the kids are a bit older….given that he’s not a fan of cardio, I thought this was quite a feat. Of course, asking him after a glass of Italy’s finest bubbles might have been the key there!

And I think that’s us caught up. I’m sure I’ve forgotten loads because how can you condense the life of five people over three months into a few hundred words and pictures? But I’ve given it my darndest best shot! And now it’s off to investigate my children’s book and see if it’s worth reviving. I’ll keep you updated…

If you made it to the end of this, hats off to you. If you thought, TLDR (too long, didn’t read)…that’s totally understandable. Here’s the summary: we’ve moved house and gone on holiday, life is plodding along, everyone is well.