Not Back To School (AGAIN!!!!)

My friend joked recently that this is the time of the year when I start to worry about our Home Ed plans and say ‘soooo, we’re thinking about putting Sophia in school’. This made me laugh – apparently I’m nothing if not predictable! They do have a point as well. Each year for the last decade, after a long, lazy summer I start to have a bit of a wobble about my approach to education and whether I’m doing right by the kids. I think I might have finally gotten over this self-doubt though, as this hasn’t been playing on my mind this year. However, it did make me realise that it’s the time of year when I like to write a post here about the academic year ahead.

If the kids were in school, Sophia would be starting year 9, Isaac year 7 and Eli year 4. Even looking at that written down makes me feel a bit funny – two secondary school aged kids, where has time gone? Where are my beautiful babies? My adorable toddlers? My wild (and basically feral) four, five, and six year olds? Although it felt absolutely endless, in the blink of an eye, those years have gone and we are well and truly in another phase of life, their education and childhood.

Moving on swiftly from those feelings (there’s definitely another – possibly indulgent – blog post in there!) I thought it would be useful to share where they’re all at – either as a record for myself or as a point of interest for other home educators.

Sophia, to be frank, is absolutely killing it. Last year she started working towards three GCSE level qualifications and is on track to either sit the exams or complete them by next summer. She’s working towards a GCSE in Latin, one in Classical Civilisations and a Level 2 qualification in Textiles (courtesy of the wonderful Technology Triumphs company). I’m really proud of her commitment to the work she does on these and was so glad to see that effort recognised when she won an award for a dress she made as part of the textiles course. Next September, she is planning to go to South Devon College to join their programme for electively home educated children. It runs part time for 14-16 year olds and gives them the opportunity to gain English, Maths, Science and a vocational qualification . I’m trying not to think about her starting that – absolute end of an era – a tear might be shed!

I’ve seen a huge change in Isaac this year. He is much less resistant to work and has been enjoying the zoology and history projects that he’s been doing over the last few months. These projects will continue this year, alongside what I’d called maintenance maths and English. However, recently he’s really gotten into creative writing. Over the last academic year, he spontaneously started some pretty awesome books and most recently has started a blog about Warhammer (for those interested, you can check it out here!) I’ve been so impressed by the way he writes, not just in terms of grammar and spelling, but in the construction of sentences and stories. He’s got a real talent there and it’s a pleasure to see it develop. Warhammer is his ‘special interest’ and currently consumes everything – whilst sometimes I *may* find it a little tedious, I have to remember that there are so many transferable skills. He researches the stories, rules, and characters in depth, the games are long, complicated affairs that require maths, logic, and strategy and the painting of models offers the opportunity to be creative whilst simultaneously practising fine motor skills!

Eli is at that transition age of moving from learning through play to something a bit more. He’s been doing the same projects as Isaac (but at a less involved level) and also been doing maths, English, and learning to play the drums. He loves moving his body and being practical – he’s best outdoors, in motion and with friends. But I can see things starting to shift as he starts to look at books more, getting out the paper and pencils, and has been playing a little more on his own recently. I think he’ll crack reading this year and I look forward to finding out more about what makes him tick as he enters that next stage of childhood.

I feel pretty confident as we start another academic year. With home education, you’ve got to be flexible and open to change so I’m well aware that things might look pretty different in a few months. However, we’re starting from a good foundation and I look forward to working with the kids to help facilitate the learning opportunities and education that best fits them this year. It seems unbelievable to think that not only in a year’s time will Sophia be in college, but that in 3 years time, Isaac will be as well. It might sounds like a long time but I know that 3 years will go in a flash. So I’m also going to try and make more time for some ‘field trips’ and to be honest, just to grab opportunities to have some fun with them as our little family before they’re all off in further education and those chances are less and less frequent.

I hate all those soppy memes about holding onto your tiny people and cherishing every moment. It’s not realistic and often serves to make people struggling feel worse, rather than better. But (and don’t tell anyone!), I am feeling it a little bit as we enter another academic year. I know I’m not going to love every minute of it, but I am going to try and make an effort to appreciate those good times, no matter how mundane or everyday they may appear from the outside, and get less hung up on the stressful moments. Blink and it’ll be gone. Parenting is so bittersweet, every new stage is exciting and awesome to enter, but it’s at the expense of saying goodbye to another era which you loved (and might have only just mastered!)

What’s the next school year look like for you and your family? Do let me know – I love to hear about other peoples’ lives!

the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth

I’m always a little embarrassed when a colleague discovers I home educate the kids, or when a fellow home educator discovers that I work best part of three days a week. Add in my ridiculous obsession with running and I feel like a bit of a sore thumb. I get a lot of questions about how I manage to stay on top of it all, how I fit it all in. Case in point, the other day, someone asked how I did it all and used the word ‘superwoman’ (which always makes me feel like a huge imposter)…without thinking, I quipped ‘I’m always one day away from a nervous breakdown’. Cue awkward silence. Possibly an overshare!?!

But it’s not too far from the truth. The truth is, I feel selfish….and exhausted. Most of the time it doesn’t feel feasible or sustainable to do everything I do, yet I keep trying. I’m torn between a job I love at a company I feel a real kinship to and home educating the kids. And I worry that I’m doing neither justice.

When we made the decision to home educate, all those years ago when I was just starting to show with my eldest, I was naive as to the weight of the undertaking. Of course, I could put them in school (as people often suggest) but after a lifetime at home with me and knowing the freedom that comes with that, I can’t see them going without a fight.

Home education works, it really does. I have three kids who are kind and sociable, inquisitive and capable of critical thinking, who are passionate about protecting the world and the people in it, who can read, write and have a ridiculously deep level of understanding in a variety of topics that I’m still partly clueless about (home education is all about facilitation dontcha know?!) But it was much easier when I wasn’t juggling it with anything else.

A friend once said that she didn’t feel like there was enough of her to go around. That pretty much sums up where I’m at. I feel like right now I’m either working or driving the kids to various home ed groups around Devon. There doesn’t seem to be much time for spontaneous, unplanned life. We went to River Dart Country Park a few weeks ago on a whim and it was a throwback to our early years of Home Ed, when we had no ties on our time other than bedtime. But then when I logged on the next day, there was so much to deal with, I almost regretted that perfect day of laughter and play.

I love my work, I really do. I can’t imagine a company I’d feel more invested in. Outdoor education, climate protection…promoting an educational model that is accessible for all and fit for purpose. And I get to play with kids in the woods lighting fires and write! You can’t get more perfect than that.

Maybe this is just end-of-term-itis. After 18 months of pandemic, a return to normal life and routines has been harder than I anticipated this term.

In an attempt to find some semblance of balance, the kids and I have made some changes to our home ed routine from September, carving out some more dedicated home time for project based learning, play and spontaneity. Hopefully, this will do the trick.

But burnout is real and I’ve got it!

I don’t write this for sympathy but rather to continue on my mission to encourage people to be open about how they’re feeling, to encourage dialogue about mental health, to open the door of my house in the proverbial lost village. Door’s always open, kettle’s always on. But sometimes you need to know someone else is having a hard time to be brave enough to speak out yourself.

In the meantime, least I can run again now my calf is back to normal (more or less) – the best therapy I could ask for to clear my head and set myself up for a busy day.

Hopefully this all made sense and wasn’t a complete brain dump, although I suspect it was – been a while since I’ve written for me, this is rather lacking form, structure and interest! Take home message – if you’re having a hard time, find a friend, have a hug and tell them about it.

Hang in there guys, we’ve got this – or at least each other.

Reality Check

Home Education has been the topic of many conversations this Autumn. This isn’t unusual as the start of the school term often brings our educational choices to people’s attention but it has been even more prevalent this year with the closure of schools for months and more. One consequence of this disruption to the school system is that seemingly more parents are opting to educate their children at home; either because they’re worried about their children’s safety in schools with the virus still spreading, because they’re not happy with how safety measures put in place will affect their children’s education or because having their kids at home for a prolonged period of time gave them the opportunity to realise that they can and do want to educate them at home.

Whilst answering the common questions (which I’ll get to in a bit) I’ve been able to reflect a little bit on what home education looks like in our house compared to what I thought it might look like 6 years ago when I was just starting out with two fairly undemanding and eager toddlers, no job and bags more energy. I remember reading about beautiful Steiner rhythms to shape your day (I’m not a huge fan of Steiner but I took the elements which I thought would suit us such as routine, lots of time outdoors, being creative, marking the seasons..etc) and found various ‘kinder’ curriculums focused on the natural world, creativity and gentle learning.

I fought and fought to implement these rhythms and routines to our days and weeks before finally coming to the conclusion, several years and another child later, that actually…I’m really terrible at sticking to routines. And what’s more, the effort involved in trying to stick to these routines led to a whole ton of unnecessary guilt and stress as I felt I was failing as the picture of what I thought home education should look like. When I let this idea go, it was like a weight off my shoulders. Now as it happens, as the kids have gotten older and started various scheduled activities as it were (such as dancing, latin lessons, football and forest school), I have had to stick to certain routines. But I no longer attempt to force a routine on a life where spontaneity often rules and where actually, such an approach actually produces some of our best and most productive days and moments.

Another admission I’ve had to make is that actually, whilst I’ve chosen to home educate, it doesn’t mean I always have to like it. In my ideal world, a gorgeous community based school would exist where my children could attend 2-3 days a week, spend lots of time outdoors and in small groups and I could leave them to focus on my own things (be that work or pleasure) on those days. Unfortunately, I think that the structure of the UK school system would leave one of my children permanently in trouble for his, ahem “boisterous” tendencies, one struggling with doing things not at his own pace and one who would love the academics of secondary school but wouldn’t have enough time to pursue her passions.

When I speak to friends who are teachers, I’m saddened by how the government-mandated measures prevent them from teaching how they’d like to and I think that teachers are an absolutely incredible breed for continuing to do what they do, to the best of their ability, despite the circumstances. they find themselves in. But given that I do have the privilege of choosing another option for my children, I’m going to do that. It’s just that I don’t necessarily always want to (cue more guilt for not being a happy home ed Mum who loves every minute of it…!) or know exactly that I’m doing the right thing. But I have learnt a thing or two over the last 6 years so I thought I would answer some of the common questions that myself and other established home educators, are often asked in case it was helpful to anyone out there.

Do you have to follow a curriculum?

Quite simply put, no! The Education Act of 1996 simply states that “The parent of every child of compulsory school age shall cause him to receive efficient full-time education suitable a to his age, ability and aptitude, and b to any special educational needs he may have, either by regular attendance at school or otherwise.” This is basically it. So, within a state school they will follow the national curriculum but at home, it is up to you to define what constitutes suitable, efficient and full time for your child. This will obviously change over time. For example, your 4 year old (arguably) needs no formal education, much research on learning through play shows the importance of play and many countries don’t start formal education until 6 or 7 accordingly. However, your 11 year old will probably need to be doing a little more than playing all day… (although there’s a whole other discussion about unschooling that could be had here)

How do you know what to teach them?

Again, this will depend on the age and ability of your child. For me, I spent the early years (5-8) focusing on reading, writing and mathematics alongside a whole lot of crafts, baking, outdoor adventures and play. However, now the older two are almost 9 and 11, I talk to them regularly about what they’re interested in and we do work on that. In the last 18 months we’ve done a WW2 project, work on the Victorians, a science Climate Change curriculum, started learning Italian, about the Bronze Age and the Periodic Table and Sophia has done an adult online course in Fashion History. We’ve also done a lot of creative writing, age-appropriate mathematics, art, music and physical activity. We use Twinkl and other online resources to get information and resources to aid our learning and my catch phrase tends to be that it’s not about teaching yourself, but about facilitating learning! You don’t have to know it all to help them find things out.

Do you get checked up on?

Personally, we’ve never had any contact from the LEA (Local Education Authority) or Babcock (who are contracted to stay in touch with home educators in Devon). If you deregister your child from school, they are likely to get in touch but there is no requirement for you to meet them in person (unless your child has additional needs) if you don’t want to. Some families find it helpful but others would rather be left alone to do their own thing and a lot of the home educating families I know haven’t been contacted or made contact themselves.

What about the social side of things?

Ha! This question is the one that makes home educating parents laugh the most around here. The Home Education community in Devon is vibrant and thriving. I used to say that the danger was not spending any time at home as there were so many meet ups (educational and social) and groups on offer from rock climbing on Dartmoor to science sessions in halls to Forest School and beach meets and a whole lot more. I’d argue as well that because groups are rarely segregated by age, social skills are much improved as your children will be spending time with a range of differently aged children which comes with even more skills to learn. (Just to add that unfortunately at the moment, due to covid, the community isn’t able to be as full and welcoming as it usually is but I have every hope we’ll be back to normal at some point…)

How do you cope with having your children around all the time without a break?

I don’t! I love my kids but man, they drive me crazy! Personally, mine are in Forest School once a week, my folks very kindly have them fortnightly and I like to run or go to the gym 4/5 times a week to get some headspace and quiet time! I also work 2 days a week (flexibly) which gives me some time to step out of Mum mode. All families have their own arrangements in place but I know that a lot of them make sure they carve out some child-free time to get that bit of breathing space they definitely need!

That was a little on the epic side, apologies for such a long post but hopefully it might have made interesting reading for some of you. At the very least, it’s a change from talking about the global pandemic eh?! If you have any other questions about home education that you’re dying to ask and I haven’t answered, drop it in the comments and I’ll happily answer any more!

How do I do this again?!

After several discussions with friends, I know that I’m not alone in thinking that time has been playing silly buggers with us all this year. It feels like I blinked and suddenly it’s 1st September. Which means it’s time for my annual ‘not-back-to-school’ evangelical home education post!

Except…I feel like I’ve forgotten how to do it this year. And it’s not just because of covid. I feel a bit lost as to how to get back into the swing of things and what exactly to do! I think it’s partly because the kids are older; the easy days of teaching them to read and write are nearly over now (just Eli to help with this) and their appetite for more structured, in depth work (at least Sophia’s!) is growing. Also, their needs and approaches are so very different; it’s a bit of a juggling act to simultaneously engage, challenge and occupy all three of them. On top of that, I’m trying to work two days a week, train for a (mini) ultra in November and keep the house from looking like an absolute pit. It’s absolutely doable but it requires better time management and more careful planning and consideration than I have given it up until this point! 

Which is why for us, the new school year will begin on the 14th, bit of a late start but Ithink it’ll give me the breathing room I need to work out what exactly to do! We’ve got some ideas, Sophia wants to do some more online courses (one in French fashion history has caught her eye) and improve her sewing (we’ll get Grandma to help with this!), they all are up for continuing our Bronze Age project, we’re going to do some work on the periodic table and continue to use an online maths programme. Sophia and Isaac will continue their music lessons with Dad and Sophia is also carrying on with Latin and hopefully restarting her LAMDA classes. And blissfully, all three of them will be returning to Exeter Forest School to give me a whole day every week for work or whatever else takes my fancy. And actually, when I look at it written down like that, it seems like maybe we’ve got enough to be getting on with after all! 

What I’m really worried about this year though is the home education community itself. Covid has wreaked havoc on all areas of life but whilst most are getting back to normal, we’ve all been left floundering a little. Many organised activities, run by an outside business, are starting to resume but the core of our community; parent led activities and groups (be them academic or social) are left adrift. We often rely on village and community halls, most of which haven’t yet committed to opening for hire again. Or alternatively, the guidelines from the government are either so vague as to make us unwilling to risk organising activities or just plain non-sensical. 

It’s a real shame because I think we’re going to see a substantial rise in the numbers of people home educating. Whether this is because they’ve now had their kids at home for six months and found that not only was it manageable, but preferable. Or because they don’t agree with the approach schools are taking in the wake of covid. Or because they have vulnerable members in their households and feel safer at home. But for those of us who are established in the local home ed community, we won’t be able to offer the warm welcome we usually do. This is not to knock organised, paid for activities – they absolutely have their place but without social groups meeting in halls, it will be much more difficult to reassure new home edders, to share information, to offer support and understanding. I think there’s the potential for it to be a lonely few months for a lot of new home educated families, as they try to navigate their new approach to education but without the physical in-person support that we can usually offer. 

Obviously, I understand the need for caution in returning to a semblance of normal life but I fear that, being a rather small portion of the population, those that home educate will get overlooked in guidance and provision. I don’t know what the future holds for us and I’m rather wary of what happens next. But for now, me and the kids are lucky to have so many lovely connections with fellow home educators in Devon and I know that we’ll band together to support each other as we adjust to whatever home education looks like coming out the other side of these last few months. 

And if anyone reading this is interested in home education, I’d recommend checking out Education Otherwise or the Home Education Advisory Service or your local Facebook group for more information! 

 

[Not] Back To School (again)

This September marks the third and final time that one of my children reaches school age. Eli, at 4.5 years of age, would have been starting reception this week if we’d chosen to engage with mainstream education. As we didn’t, I am now officially home educating all three of my offspring and we marked this today with a trip to the Eden Project to catch the ‘Earth Story’ exhibition on it’s last day.

As with each of the others, this is almost a non-event, we’ll simply continue as we are. I will continue to provide educational opportunities and guidance that is age and ability appropriate for them and a number on a bit of paper doesn’t make much difference to that.

Yesterday, for example, after some Mum-dictated music practice, Isaac spent a long time devising codes and writing in them, practising handwriting, spelling and a whole host of other skills (without even realising it). Elijah practised his pen control with some requested alphabet worksheets and colouring before playing with Lego for hours. And Sophia took it upon herself to work through some KS2 grammar before doing some sewing and then composing acrostic poems. We also played world twister (geography) and went on a blackberry hunt where, for reasons unknown to me, they demanded to be quizzed with mental arithmetic questions. It was nearly all child-led, challenged them and was pretty productive.

Today, as I say, we went to Eden where the focus was on the devastating effects of climate change on both British and global wildlife and on championing visitors to be part of the solution. It provoked a lot of conversations and anger from all three but overall felt positive when we were able to see examples of the work that conservation groups and dedicated people are doing to fight for our planet.

Over the last few years, as a member of the local home educating community and within my role at The Outdoors Group, I’ve seen a significant increase in the numbers of people choosing to home educate. I’ve written plenty before about why that might be. Whether it’s a case of schools not having the funding to support children with additional needs, disagreeing with the national curriculum or just that you want more freedom as a family to live and learn in your own way, the reasons are many and varied.

I won’t repeat myself in that respect but I will say that if it’s something you are considering but find overwhelming, it’s honestly not as scary or full on as you think it will be! There is a lot of support out there and the home education community in Devon is absolutely thriving. To summarise what I’ve said before, you don’t have to be able to teach to home educate your child (ren), you just need to be able to facilitate learning, to be able to go at their pace and to trust them enough to follow their interests and curiosity. I’ve learnt so much myself over the last decade (fun fact of the day: did you know that the term ‘plankton’ refers to any living creature that floats within the ocean currents, so jellyfish are technically plankton? I didn’t until earlier today!)

So whether your kids are going back to school this week or not, I wish them a very happy, healthy and adventurous academic year! I’ll leave you with these photos of when we visited the Deer Park at Dartington Estate recently and the kids got to hand feed these absolutely beautiful creatures! (Another great trip organised by a home educating parent)

If you have any questions you’ve always wanted to ask about home education, comment below or on my facebook post and I’ll do my best to answer them!

Taking It Slow

As a general rule, I don’t take photos whilst I run. There are two reasons for this. The first and main reason is because I am rather competitive by nature, not with other people, but with past versions of myself. I don’t want to waste time by stopping to snap a good view, no matter how breathtaking, as I’m always trying to run as fast as possible and beat previous personal records. The second (minor) reason is just because I’m not very good at taking photos! I don’t take the time to adjust the settings or compose a good scene, as in the rest of my life, I rush to get it done and be on my way.

But this morning, I went for a run and I knew it would be slow. I’ve had a month off training due to illness and every time I’ve attempted to run in the last few weeks my lungs have felt like they’re going to give up in protest at the cheek of me making them work. I also did a rather brutal leg day yesterday and my glutes are angry with DOMS. So this morning I set off in the beautiful Spring sunshine with a brilliant blue sky above me and took my time. I just ran 4.5 miles around the country lanes nearby but it was so restorative. My lungs worked and because I wasn’t racing myself I didn’t beat myself up when I stopped to walk up some particularly steep hills (even with the knowledge that I usually run up them). I even stopped to take a picture of the rolling Devon hills with Dartmoor looming in the distance.

People often react with a mixture of horror and bemusement when they find out how much training I do (5/6 days a week of running or in the gym) but for me, it’s my time away from the kids, just for me to re-set. It’s my medicine for mental health, my quiet headspace to think and just be me. After 50 minutes running in the gorgeous fresh air this morning, I feel ready for whatever the day throws at me, whether that be warring brothers or a particularly hefty workload. And this morning I feel like I also finally took on board everyone’s advice to slow down.

In life I am prone to trying to do everything quickly. Sometimes this is in the fitness side of things, trying to lift ridiculously heavy weights without building up to them or trying to launch into a crow pose or handstand without all the conditioning and beginner progressions necessary to lay the groundwork. Sometimes this is in the house, doing a half-assed job of washing up or other housework just to get it over with. Sometimes this is in my role as a parent, rushing bedtime or games with the kids, simply because of parenting-fatigue or an inability to be in the moment when there is a never-ending to-do list. Sometimes this is in my self-care, not taking enough time to rest because I’m anxious to get back to my busy schedule.

But after having been ill for the best part of a month, I have had to slow down. My body wouldn’t let me rush anything! And actually, I think I’ve come out the other side hopefully a little wiser for it. Which is why, when I came in from my run this morning with an urge to write, instead of putting it to one side to pack lunches, do home ed and process registration forms for work, I decided to sit down with a cup of tea and share my ramblings with whoever might be reading this instead.

Sometimes there are deadlines that have to be stuck to and sometimes you do need to hurry. But a lot of the time, it’s all in our heads. We can probably take five and slow down without any horrendous consequences. So I’d encourage you if, like me, you’re prone to rushing, to take it slow today. Even if it’s just taking a few minutes to sit in the sun and soak up the rays before getting back to the grindstone, you’ll feel better for it. (Or if time, family and work allows, do what we did yesterday and spend several hours lounging on the beach enjoying the spring sunshine and the water gently lapping the shore – bliss. See, I told you I’m learning!)

This photo is courtesy of the talented and most lovely Elsie

 

 

 

[In]visible Children

Before I start, I need to make a disclaimer. This is not a research-based article, there are plenty of those out there that do an incredible job of laying out facts and figures to support what a lot of home educators are saying. This is merely my thoughts as a home-educating parent on what has been in the media over the last week.

When I first saw that Channel 4 had produced a Dispatches programme with the misleading name ‘Skipping School – Britain’s Invisible Kids’ I immediately decided to give it a wide berth. I knew from the ad that it wasn’t going to be a measured and fair representation of home education in the UK. Mainly because that would make for a really boring show. Who wants to watch normal families going about their business with no drama or twist to keep you watching? It might provide a certain level of interest if you work in education or are thinking about home education yourself but it’s certainly not going to rack up big viewing numbers.

At the same time, the Children’s Commissioner released a report, looking at the increase in home-educated children but mostly focusing on the process of ‘off-rolling’ whereby schools essentially exclude children by strongly suggesting their parents home educate. She uses these (approximate) figures to support her call for compulsory registration saying

“Our investigations have revealed thousands of children are ‘off the grid’ because they are being home schooled,”

“The numbers are rocketing and no-one knows how they are doing academically or even if they’re safe. Many are being off-rolled.”

“We need to know who these children are, where they are, whether they are safe and if they are getting the education they need to succeed in life.”

It’s hard to know where to start in addressing this but I will firstly make the important point that there is a huge difference between those being electively home educated by their parents (which I think accounts for the majority of those being home educated) and those who have been forced into home educating by a failing school system. The two cannot be compared and shouldn’t be lumped in the same category. Quite obviously, children who are struggling to thrive in mainstream shouldn’t just be forced out by schools. They, and their parents, should be offered the support they need to succeed, whatever that means and wherever that sees them being placed. However, schools are in crisis with funding cuts and huge levels of teacher stress.  I know many teachers, all of whom share a passion for what they do and frustration at what is happening within the state education system. That is a separate issue and one that needs addressing urgently.

So back to elective home educators and the main accusation being made, are our children “invisible”? The answer is, simply, no! To use my own children as an example; Elijah attends an Ofsted-registered nursery once a week so that I can concentrate on more complicated school work with the older two (last year it was Egypt, this year we’re looking at World War Two and the Victorians, also whilst learning Italian). My older two attend Parkour classes once a month at a company in Marsh Barton, Sophia goes to dance classes weekly, Isaac attends football training with a local FA club every weekend, they all go to Forest School every Friday without me and we go to Church most Sundays where they go to Sunday School. On top of this are the one-off educational visits to the Aquarium, Seaton Wetlands (run by a council-funded educator), Clip n’ Climb, various museums and nature attractions and many many more. We go to the library, to the shops, to the doctors and dentist when needed, to the beach, to the woods…

Every day we are out and about and interacting with people from the average Joe on the street to professionals in their field. If asked, we are always happy to chat about home education, why we do it and how it works for us. My children are far from invisible and having inherited my love of talking, everyone they encounter is engaged in conversation with them (whether they want to be or not!).

And we are not at all unusual for home educators. The activities may vary but all the home educators I know in Devon have similar tales to tell (of which there are many and whilst I’m obviously not friends with everyone, I have probably met hundreds of families over the last 6 years). They are out in their communities, their children go to a range of activities and they certainly do not hide away, in some inner sanctum of their homes. As a friend commented the other day, ‘I don’t know why it’s called ‘home’ education, none of us are ever at home’!

The argument however from those calling for registration is that although this is the case for the majority, what about the minority that this doesn’t apply for?  The Department of Education’s official response to the report states

“Where children are being home educated, we know that in the vast majority of cases parents are doing an excellent job. ”

“We also know, however, that in a very small minority of cases children are not receiving the standard of education they should be, which is why last year we ran a call for evidence on proposals to introduce a register, as well monitoring of provision and support for home educators. We will respond to that in due course.”

So why are so many home educators against compulsory registration? I’ve thought about this a lot over the last few years and read a lot of articles arguing both sides of the coin. But I think what it comes down to is the gradual erosion of our freedom as parents. Because usually, alongside calls for registration are proposals that proof of a suitable education must be made. And that is such an incredibly subjective term that it is bound to be abused or misinterpreted. Children, like adults, learn in a multitude of different ways and suitability is going to hugely vary depending on their age, ability and approach to learning. What doesn’t look like learning to one inspector will be more than satisfactory to another.

One child might learn through ‘traditional’ approaches such as listening to a teacher/parent, reading books and completing worksheets whereas another may learn simply through conversation and physical exploration. Some may need a more visual approach, some hands on, some might need to be left alone to do their own research and experimentation before emerging with a wealth of new knowledge. But what is needed is trust. Trust that parents know what is best for their children and trust that we can do it! And by suggesting inspections, registration and at one point I believe they were suggesting interviewing children as young as 5 without a parent present (something that is wrong on so many levels) you are sewing seeds of doubt into the whole process.

For me, home education is freedom. Freedom to learn how we wish, when we wish and where we wish.

To those arguing about that minority, I would say that some of the most famous cases of child neglect/abuse/death..etc have occurred to children who are known to the system. School is not the only place where children are acknowledged. Doctors, nurses, health visitors, midwives, dentists and many more professionals are in regular contact with home educated children and anyone can raise a concern, it doesn’t have to be a teacher. Where sadly neglect or severe harm is going to occur, the warning signs are often there from day one and flagged. Unfortunately, the problem is austerity and the huge cuts to public services which means that our amazing free services are being squeezed on every side. Thousands or incredible hardworking staff are overworked, stressed and simply cannot do everything that they pledged to when taking their jobs, despite trying their absolute best to look after everyone in their caseload.

I’m not quite sure what the obsession is with targeting home educators. Maybe it’s because we’re seen as an ‘other’, a group of people not fitting neatly into the normal societal boxes. Often we branded as hippies or oddities but the majority of home educators I know are simply normal people, continuing the education of their children that we do from the day they are born, at their own pace and in their own unique and interesting ways. We are simply choosing to educate our children in an alternative manner, outside of the state education system.

I wasn’t going to get involved with this latest furor. In fact I told a friend yesterday that I was tired just thinking about it. But I woke up this morning realising that like with any fight for justice, if we all buried our heads in the sand then nothing good would be accomplished. If all of us meekly went about our business, ignoring this chatter at higher levels, it is likely that we’ll be forced to undergo unwanted, intrusive and wholly unnecessary measures before we know it. I also woke up angry.  Invisible? My children are most certainly not. They are inquisitive, engaged, confident, outgoing, active and talkative. Invisible is quite literally the last word I would use to ever describe them.

 

Bu

Stepping Away From The Tech

For the last two years, I’ve been working for The Outdoors Group, an amazing company the delivers outdoor education across five sites around Devon from toddler groups and home education sessions to specialist 1:1 intervention for those struggling to thrive in mainstream and adult training to send more Forest School Leaders into the world. We also host birthday parties and team building events. And excitingly, this year we are opening The Outdoors School, an independent special one-of-it’s-kind outdoor school, especially for ASD and SEHM learners.  I work in an administrative capacity, sat behind my laptop or on the phone, either at home or in our cosy office at West Town Farm. I never thought I’d enjoy doing admin so much but I think it’s a combination of loving being organised and being passionate about the business that means that I really do love my job and mostly find it a pleasure, rather than a chore. I like problem solving and I like helping people, both important parts of the role.

However, I’ve always said to folk when talking about what I do that I’d love to do the Forest School Leader training itself one day. ‘One Day’ was a vague concept, some magical time in the future when it would be appropriate and I’d found the courage. But excitingly/nervewrackingly, ‘one day’ has come sooner than I anticipated. At the end of February I’ll be joining a bunch of other aspiring Forest School leaders at our site just outside Exmouth for a week’s practical course to kick off the year of training required for this qualification. I am equal parts thrilled and terrified. I love learning and I love being outside but….after many years of living in houses with stoves and open fireplaces and having attended Forest School with the kids for the last 6 years, I still can’t reliably light a fire! Hopefully this week will solve that…

I’m also feeling rather nervous about the concept of actually running sessions. Sure I run activities at our Home Education group nearly every week but I’m not technically in charge there. I can corral a group of rowdy children aged 2-11 and get them involved in a structured activity but that is indoors, without the added factors of everything that the outdoors brings, including the health and safety element of it. Folk aren’t paying to be at the Home Ed group and if I muck it up, it matters not one jot!

It’s a bit of a moot point though at the moment as I’m not actually going to be in the woods doing delivery for the forseeable future I think but I like to think ahead to when that day comes. I know really, that the whole point of doing the training is to equip the learners with the skills, knowledge and confidence to be able to successfully plan and deliver sessions but still, eep!

Turning off the laptop, putting on my boots and waterproof trousers and stepping outside feels like a bold move. But one that I’m looking forward to. And even if I don’t use the training in the woods for a while, I’m hoping that it will better inform me for my role within the metaphorical ‘office’. However, even in order to make the week’s training happen has been a bit of an undertaking in terms of childcare and I owe a huge thank you to one particularly special friend and my Mum and Dad for helping Dan keep the kids occupied that week whilst he’s working from home. It really does take a village and I’m so grateful for my little one.  So here’s to stepping out of my comfort zone of inboxes and spreadsheets and entering a whole new world of outdoor learning and adventure…I’ll keep you updated as to how I get on!

Cutting bits of string, I’ve got that. Fire lighting, watch this space…

 

New Year, New Me?!

We are finally approaching the end of the first month of the year and it’s taken me this long to think about what I want for the year ahead. We spent New Years Eve with some lovely friends and in the morning, spent some time making ‘vision boards’, cutting out pictures and words of things that we wanted to come into our lives during 2019. I liked the idea but didn’t put much as thought into it as I could have, hence my board finishing with a picture of aspargus middle and centre (meant to represent growing generally, not just a love of this particular vegetable), a bottle of gin and some other assorted outdoorsy and fitness related cuttings.

I knew from the offset that for me, 2019 was about saying ‘no’. During the last few months of 2018 I was struggling to manage with fitting everything into our lives that we wanted or needed to. I have never been good at turning down opportunities and prioritising but by December I felt absolutely burnt out and constantly slightly frantic as I attempted to get everything done whilst still saying yes to every invitation offered. So I knew that 2019 needed to be about doing less, about saying no to opportunities that aren’t right for us at the moment, about prioritising what is really important to us. I was also starting to struggle with Home Ed, I didn’t (and don’t) want to send the kids to school but I was also starting to feel the strain of having them around me all. the. time. I was starting to revert back to being a bit of a shouty Mum (which I hate) and the atmosphere in the house was on a decline. And this was mostly just because we were always rushing to fit everything in. I needed to revisit the Orange Rhino blog and remember that the children are my mirror, if I’m chilled and willing to talk through things rather than snap, so are they!

So I’ve made some decisions and had some things happen that already is helping me feel positive and hopefully, less stressed about the year ahead. Firstly, I decided not to run any marathons this year. I know that sounds stupid but I have done three in the last two years and have a growing list of races I’d like to try so had just taken it for granted that I’d run at least one this year. The training however, is fairly sizeable and inevitably eats into our time as a family as well as my own time. (Another reason is because I want to focus on calisthenics and strength training this year but that’s possibly another post – albeit maybe a boring one for most!) So I have committed to not running any races longer than 10 miles and feel really happy with that decision.

Secondly, my wonderful, amazing parents (can you tell I’m sucking up!?) have kindly offered to take the kids for a morning on a fortnightly basis for violin and piano lessons and some reading practice for Isaac and I am so excited! I’m going to pop down the road to a cafe to get some work done in peace and the kids are excited about the extra time with their grandparents.

I’m also trying to make a conscious point of not saying yes to all the incredible home education opportuities that arise on an almost daily basis. I’m starting to realise that we don’t have to go on every trip and that the children’s education will not suffer if we don’t! On the contrary, it means I should actually be able to commit to planning and executing the projects they have requested (WWII and Victorians) and that we will get some more much-needed time at home to do some structured work (and for me to get some of my work done in daylight hours rather than working to 10pm every evening)!

There are a few other things potentially in the offing but really, I think it’s a change of attitude rather than any huge monumental changes to our lifestyle which is going to have the biggest affect on me this year.  I don’t usually subscribe to the ‘new year, new you’ school of thought but this year I have used the change in the calendar to mark an end to one way of doing things. I’m going to say no to more things but also try and rebalance our life so that my work, home ed and my love of fitness all gets an equal say rather than one dominating over the others. It’s only a few weeks in but I’m feeling momentously more relaxed than I did a month ago already!

What about you all? Do you have any New Year’s resolutions or has the New Year prompted you to rethink the way you do things? Or how are you finding 2019 so far? (Brexit notwithstanding, obviously that’s just a dire shadow clouding all of us!) I’d love to hear from you!

The Joy of Spontaneity

Since we got back from Italy, sibling relationships have been a little, ahem, tense in our household. Whether it’s a delayed reaction to moving, a combination of pre-teen girly hormones and the testerone surge of the boys or just general grouchiness I don’t know. But it culminated in a series of unfortunate events over the weekend (which I won’t go into for the sake of privacy) that left both the older kids feeling bruised and a little downtrodden. Eli, very unhelpfully, tends to always contribute to my discussions with them about treating each other in a loving way by chiming in ‘It’s not me Mummy, I didn’t do that! I wasn’t grumpy!’. (He’s right though, he doesn’t seem to get quite as involved in the fights and is the first to relent in the hope that he can restore happiness to his big siblings who he adores). Anyway, I digress.

So this morning, I left them playing some convoluted game involving lego whilst I went for a run (Dan was working from home, obviously!) and told them they could continue playing their game whilst I was gone on the proviso they didn’t fight. I also explained that we’d get on with some work once I was back. An hour later I returned and they were all still completely engrossed in their game. I had a shower and pondered whether to interrupt their play or not. However, it had been so long since I’ve seen them playing in such a calm, cooperative and clearly enjoyable manner together that I decided to put the ‘academic work’ on hold for the day and let them keep playing. I thought that allowing them time and space to heal their somewhat fractured relationship was more important than reading and comprehension. And we had a lovely day. They played until lunch and then we headed out to Bovey Tracey for a 4 mile walk around Parke (a National Trust estate) with friends before heading home for dinner and cake with Bake Off. There were literally no fights all day, minimal whinging and it felt incredibly restorative for us all.

It got me thinking about the importance of spontaneity, of not being rigid in sticking to plans and in being able to recognise the most pressing needs in a situation. I often feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day and having recently have started to feel the tell tale symptoms of anaemia returning have realised that once again, I need to step back and take stock. Today (don’t laugh guys…I know I’m a absolute stereotype of a hippy home ed Mum!), that meant not making my own bread and hummus (my recent habit in efforts to cut down on waste) and telling Dan to buy some from the shop. And when it comes to the kids, although I certainly don’t think I’m making them too busy, I do need to be able to reevaluate what’s important. And sometimes, missing a day of our more structured learning to play and then go for a stomp in the woods is infintitely more important than sitting round the table arguing about who’s cheated in the maths game we’re trying to play or trying to juggle three different sets of work at once.

This is short today because I’m tired but basically, if you or the kids are feeling grumpy and tired, it’s OK to cancel all your plans and take a break! Go for a walk, visit the library, bake a cake, swim in the sea (with a wetsuit maybe at this time of year?!)…do whatever makes you all happy. Being in touch with what you all need for harmony and a peaceful life is so important and trumps everything else I reckon. I’m hoping that today was a turning point for us all and we can see more days of calm and less of the ridiculous fighting that has characterised the last few weeks. Wish me luck!